Many spiritual teachers believe that we choose our parents and families, as well as the lessons we intend to learn, before we come into this existence. As such, the families to which we are born are the perfect settings for us. It is our first avenue for learning.
Functional or dysfunctional, awake or asleep, happy and harmonious or full of painful conflict, our time within the family unit as children provides a myriad of opportunities to learn and grow, to define who we really are. The things we were exposed to as a child provides the preface to our book of life.
More often than not, it is a common perception that our personalities and attitudes were believed to have been inherited from our parents. Like father like son, like mother like daughter – sound familiar? But in essence, our personalities and attitudes are products of the experiences we encounter in life.
Many of us form the “issues” during our childhoods and don’t get to the resolutions of these issues. We carry a lot of misunderstandings and baggage from those years, probably because our parents had been carrying their own baggage.
A child who witnessed a husband and wife’s argument gone physical, may grow up full of anxiety and fear. On the surface, they may seem to be strong and fierce but deep down inside is anger that was imprisoned for a long time.
Our job is to consciously re-frame that baggage, to re-create our persona (that self that we present to the world) to more closely align with who we really are. The good news is that life offers us plenty of other opportunities for growth and self-awareness. The bad news is that the more we resist these lessons, the more painful they may become.
Those cosmic two by fours are not fun! They only appear to provide the learning we requested.
It is ironic that sometimes the path to learning and growth is full of bumps. But we need to conquer them. You are the author of your life. The main body of your book may be what your life’s circumstances dictates but you can create your plots and your happy endings.