When it comes to handling roadblocks in our lives, how we handle relationships can reveal our personal survival strategies. Whether they are familial, romantic, professional or the very casual encounter, everything you perceive about someone and every judgment you make about another person is basically the product of your own beliefs and filters.

In a relationship, if the two of you don’t grasp this, you are essentially two unrealities trying to deal with one another! If we don’t understand perception is projection, we assume not only that our beliefs are truth with a capital ‘T’, but also that everyone else holds the same beliefs! If they are not acting according to these beliefs, well, they must be dishonest, mean, hypocritical, or just plain stupid!

Here’s an example: What if you hold the belief that everyone in authority is trying to steal your personal power? One day, you miss your flight to an important meeting and run into someone at the airline check-in counter with a bit of an attitude. He tells you there’s nothing he can do. “You’ll have to wait until tomorrow, sir.” You come frickin’ unglued! Then that idiot on the other side of the counter delivers the ultimate insult: “Just calm down, sir.” Calm down! You hurl obscenities at him as if the guy is trying to emasculate you right there! This teeny, weeny A-hole with the stupid vest is trying to push me into victimhood…

Do you see how it goes? Your belief about authority (and your own sense of powerlessness that you’ve not yet dealt with) creates an interaction that, in a sense, never happened.

The bigger question is, if your personal projections affects a 5 minute encounter to that extent, what about your more significant relationships? Once we are clearer about the ultimate result we want, we can better understand our survival strategy and how it affects our relationships.

Healthy relationships are essential to having a fulfilling, joyful life. By discovering your survival strategies regarding how you perceive relationships, it will allow you to overcome roadblocks that may be holding you back from enjoying those interactions.